I have never...
I've been listening to I've Never Seen Star Wars a lot recently. For those of you that don't know, it's a Radio 4 comedy show with Marcus Brigstock where a celebrity is asked to name something they've never done before, and then Marcus Brigstock organises for them to do it. Naturally, if asked, I would say that I've never been to space, or on a 5-star, all expenses paid holiday to Thailand. Funnily enough, I've never been asked.
Of course, I realise that this isn't actually the way the game is played. The actual question, as the title implies, is what have you never done that most people have? What would people be surprised to find is outside your realm of experience? Hence, we were treated to Benjamin Zephaniah having a cup of tea for the first time, while Les Dennis got to try cheese. I know. Riveting stuff. Honestly, it's better than it sounds.
The question it tends to inspire when you listen is "what have I never done, that everyone else has?" It's harder than you'd think. A lot of things you haven't done, its because you'd never thought about them in the first place. For instance, after much thought and soul searching, I realised I'd never eaten a pop tart. This didn't convince me to start. It didn't sound like the beginning of a revelatory journey.
Many other experiences, you may not have experienced to the full extent that others have, but you've dabbled. I've never listened to a Justin Bieber album, but I've clearly heard the songs. We all have. It's unavoidable, like chicken pox. I also considered whether going on holiday to Butlins counted. I've been to Pontins. Is that sufficient? Is it the equivalent of "I've driven a family car, but I've never driven a Ferarri", or is it more like "I've eaten chicken and chips but never from that particular restaurant...on a Tuesday...in the rain".
In the end, I settled on two things: I've never watched Game of Thrones, and I've never been to see a football match.
The Game of Thrones thing is interesting as I'm sure I would enjoy it. I like fantasy. I even already like George R R Martin, having grown up reading a series called Wild Cards, which he created. I also can't say I didn't know about Game of Thrones. It seems every few years, there's a series everyone is talking of. Game of Thrones was one of those, and I clearly heard people constantly talking about how great it was, how intense the drama was, and how few clothes everyone seemed to be wearing. I guess I never got round to it. I missed the first couple of series, then when people started talking about it, I thought "I'd better check that out some time, but I should start from the beginning
so that I know what's going on". The next thing I know, its 6 seasons in, I've not even watched the first episode, and everyone else has moved on to Arrow and The Walking Dead.
The football match thing is different again. Technically, I have been to a football match, when I was ten, but that was Hull Kingston Rovers so it doesn't count. As I remember, there weren't really stands, just a waist high railing marking the edge of the pitch, which you could peer over (or under in may case) as you walked past. We didn't stay long. I've had a more authentic spectator experience just being near a couple of likely lads having a kick about in the park.
Do I want to go see a football match though? Well, I hate football, so that's not a promising start, and being trapped there for a couple hours seems like a grand old waste of time, but I've done a lot of things I thought would be rubbish and ended up enjoying them. I thought visiting a dog track would be dull, but it turned out to mainly revolve around penny bets and eating dubious pies. I suspect going to a football match would be a very similar experience.
The point is, there are a world of experiences out there. You don't have to try everything, in fact it would be impossible, even if you lived to be a million. But you should try some, particularly the ones you might previously have dismissed as not for you. After all, life is a long time living. And you might, like Les Dennis, discover that, while you aren't particularly keen on cheddar, and baby bel is right out, what you're life is missing is gorgonzola. And, unexpected though it might be, your gorgonzola could be right around the corner.
Of course, I realise that this isn't actually the way the game is played. The actual question, as the title implies, is what have you never done that most people have? What would people be surprised to find is outside your realm of experience? Hence, we were treated to Benjamin Zephaniah having a cup of tea for the first time, while Les Dennis got to try cheese. I know. Riveting stuff. Honestly, it's better than it sounds.
The question it tends to inspire when you listen is "what have I never done, that everyone else has?" It's harder than you'd think. A lot of things you haven't done, its because you'd never thought about them in the first place. For instance, after much thought and soul searching, I realised I'd never eaten a pop tart. This didn't convince me to start. It didn't sound like the beginning of a revelatory journey.
Many other experiences, you may not have experienced to the full extent that others have, but you've dabbled. I've never listened to a Justin Bieber album, but I've clearly heard the songs. We all have. It's unavoidable, like chicken pox. I also considered whether going on holiday to Butlins counted. I've been to Pontins. Is that sufficient? Is it the equivalent of "I've driven a family car, but I've never driven a Ferarri", or is it more like "I've eaten chicken and chips but never from that particular restaurant...on a Tuesday...in the rain".
In the end, I settled on two things: I've never watched Game of Thrones, and I've never been to see a football match.
The Game of Thrones thing is interesting as I'm sure I would enjoy it. I like fantasy. I even already like George R R Martin, having grown up reading a series called Wild Cards, which he created. I also can't say I didn't know about Game of Thrones. It seems every few years, there's a series everyone is talking of. Game of Thrones was one of those, and I clearly heard people constantly talking about how great it was, how intense the drama was, and how few clothes everyone seemed to be wearing. I guess I never got round to it. I missed the first couple of series, then when people started talking about it, I thought "I'd better check that out some time, but I should start from the beginning
so that I know what's going on". The next thing I know, its 6 seasons in, I've not even watched the first episode, and everyone else has moved on to Arrow and The Walking Dead.
The football match thing is different again. Technically, I have been to a football match, when I was ten, but that was Hull Kingston Rovers so it doesn't count. As I remember, there weren't really stands, just a waist high railing marking the edge of the pitch, which you could peer over (or under in may case) as you walked past. We didn't stay long. I've had a more authentic spectator experience just being near a couple of likely lads having a kick about in the park.
Do I want to go see a football match though? Well, I hate football, so that's not a promising start, and being trapped there for a couple hours seems like a grand old waste of time, but I've done a lot of things I thought would be rubbish and ended up enjoying them. I thought visiting a dog track would be dull, but it turned out to mainly revolve around penny bets and eating dubious pies. I suspect going to a football match would be a very similar experience.
The point is, there are a world of experiences out there. You don't have to try everything, in fact it would be impossible, even if you lived to be a million. But you should try some, particularly the ones you might previously have dismissed as not for you. After all, life is a long time living. And you might, like Les Dennis, discover that, while you aren't particularly keen on cheddar, and baby bel is right out, what you're life is missing is gorgonzola. And, unexpected though it might be, your gorgonzola could be right around the corner.
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